I'm torn. Part of me wants to separate and not deal with anything ever. I can deal with my own problems silently and patiently. I don't get too angry ever. I don't even really have strong emotions. No one is out to get me. The world isn't going to end. There is no one that I am in love with, no one that I hate. My life is average and I like being happy sometimes and sad sometimes. Nothing too extreme.
Part of me loves the times I have with others when things are good. I had an amazing night last night. I had fun. I love my friends, but I am surrounded by problems that aren't mine. Everyone has a history and a problem with someone else and something happened between two people and now we all have to worry. I can care and not be concerned. Because I care, but I also don't give a shit.
Christmas party tonight. I am excited. I really like giving people presents. I wish I had the money to buy people amazing gifts. I hate that people are taught to expect things in return. I hate when people feel like every favor has to be returned immediately and in a similar manner. I give gifts because I want to, not because I want them. I would have just spent all my money on myself in that case.